Writing

The Pressure I Think I Needed

March 3, 2015 by Abbigail Kriebs 2 Comments

A couple of months ago, as I continued my search for a writing critique group in the Madison area, I stumbled upon Madison Writers’ Studio. I hemmed and hawed for awhile, trying to decide whether or not to pull the plug, apply, and make the investment.

Instead, I joined a virtual (and free!) writing group right after the first of the year, and thought that might fit the bill for what I needed. I re-established my goal of finishing my novel by my birthday in July, and was excited to get to work, but a month or so later I have found that the online setting is just not providing the support that I need right now. It’s very encouraging and I’ve met a great group of ladies, but it’s not enough of a push for what I need to accomplish.

So a week ago Saturday, after talking it over with Scott, I decided to apply to the Madison Writers’ Studio. After waiting two tense days, obsessively checking my email to see if I got in or not (I had to submit a writing sample, and oh that was a nerve-wracking decision), I finally got a reply around noon last Monday, letting me know that I was in. I was ecstatic and joyful and then oh-so-terrified: I had to have 25 pages of my manuscript ready to be turned in for critique by March 2nd. At the time, that was only a week away.

So I panicked.

Then I planned (Type A over here, so of course).

And then I got to work.

I sat down and wrote more this last week than I have in the past two months combined, and it’s better quality work – more deliberate. I think this was the pressure I needed to really buckle down and give undivided attention to this project, rather than letting it continually hang out on the sidelines for when I had time, or worse: when I felt like working on it.

I turned in my 25 pages last night, and I am more nervous now than I think I have ever been. This includes the day I got married, the day I started college, and every single one of the last four job interviews I’ve been on. Not only will the other group participants be critiquing me, they will be critiquing my baby – my little novel that’s been floating around in my head for a couple of years, not yet ready to see the light of day. That is still not ready to see the light of day.

But I’m hoping with their help it will be ready someday.

I’m looking forward to receiving some writing instruction for the first time since my sole creative writing class in high school (over a decade ago – eek). While I have a degree in literature and history, writing about what other people have already written is not the same as crafting fiction from thin air. And I’ve struggled with pulling all of my thoughts together over this last year, unable to execute a big project like this on my own. So I’m hoping Michelle Wildgen (someone who has gone through this process herself a few times) will be able to walk me through it, or at least get me started.

We meet for the first time next Monday, the 9th – I’m bracing myself for a combination of amazing and terrifying.

The good kind of terrifying, of course.

Why I Write

February 17, 2015 by Abbigail Kriebs 2 Comments

For those of you who subscribe to my monthly-ish newsletter, you know that in 2015 I am making time to write. It might sound crazy to you, that I’m giving up T.V. time and reading time in order to write a novel that may or may not ever be published, so I thought I’d share a few thoughts about why writing is so important to me.

I write because it steadies me. It forces a pause.

Pauses create space. Space, for us introverts, is good. It allows thoughts to settle in the dust stirred up by deep conversation. Not a surface-scratch kind of talk, but one that requires a stout shovel. Those are the only conversations really worth having.

I write because when I don’t put words on paper, I feel like I’m floating, without an anchor. Everyone needs to feel the weight of a good anchor.

I write because when I don’t, I miss it. I am cranky and lazy and feel a good bit without purpose. When I don’t write, I get disappointed in myself. Even more so than when I don’t do the dishes or can’t remember to switch the laundry. Not writing feels in-authentic to me, like I’m not letting myself be myself.

I write because writers who don’t write aren’t really writers, are they?

I write because I can’t not write.

That is why I write.

And I guess that is a sign I should give up some T.V. time and keep writing.

If you are a writer, what makes you keep putting pen to paper day after day? Would you miss it if you stopped?

My Word of the Year for 2015

January 20, 2015 by Abbigail Kriebs 7 Comments

I never chose a word of the year for 2014. If I had to choose one retroactively, it would be “survive.” We survived downsizing from house to apartment. I survived over-committing myself and two separate job changes. It was a tough year, in which I constantly felt like I was making no progress, but in retrospect, I was. I made a lot of tough choices and set myself up for a better 2015. At least I hope so.

With that in mind, for 2015, I’m going back to the word I failed at in 2012: “Create.”

In 2012, I had just started my first full-time job after college. I was in the middle of serving on a pastoral search committee, a task that took a year and a half of meetings and a lot of emotions. I was in my third year of trying to sell a house that just wouldn’t sell. It was probably not the best time in my life to choose a word for the year so ambitious as “create.” But I did because what can I say: I was clueless. I really had no idea how much creating takes out of you.

The answer: a lot.

But this year, I think I’m ready for it.

Over the last four years, I have soaked up as much publishing advice as I can. I have read books on writing (and continue to do so). I have attended a conference, webinars, twitter chats. I have built a website and started blogging regularly. I have even met with and gotten advice from one of my favorite people on the internet, publishing consultant Jane Friedman (if you are a writer, go follow her blog and immediately get lost in the archives).

But I haven’t consistently sat down to write my book. It’s much easier to absorb than it is to create.

So this year, I’m throwing research to the side and sitting down to create.

Why Not Just Choose “Write” as Your Word?

I chose “create” and not “write” intentionally. I want to allow myself a little freedom to take a day off now and then and pull out my camera. I need to be able to blog and participate in social media alongside writing a novel. I also want the freedom to create community as I write: responding to emails from other writers, reading other blogs and participating in the comments sections.

If I had chosen “write,” I would probably feel guilty whenever I spent time on any of those other activities. And I’m trying to be kinder to myself, so not creating guilt is a good thing.

And let’s face it: there are going to be evenings when I come home from work and need to curl up on the couch with a book. Or a half-dozen episodes of 30 Rock. And some chocolate.

I really believe that all of these are important to cultivating creativity, so long as you create as much as you consume. That is the tough part: finding the balance between the two.

So if I spend the morning writing a blog and scheduling out social media, I’m letting myself off the hook if I need to come home and just go “bleh” on the couch at the end of a long day.

I’m going to try to keep most of my Saturday mornings free for longer creating sessions. Large chunks of time are going to be important as I sort out plot points and learn the rhythm of my novel.

And if things get out of balance, I am going to hit the restart button and try again.

So I’m going to go create. There’s only 345 days left in the year.

GO CREATE.

What’s your word of the year for 2015?