Dreams

I Didn’t Come Here To Do Something Hard

February 10, 2015 by Abbigail Kriebs 8 Comments

Ouch.

How often do we give up on our dreams just because they are hard?

I know I often give up when there is any sort of delayed gratification involved. I like my comforts: my chocolate, mind-numbing T.V., and the words “good enough.” I’d rather feel that instant “win” than have to wait. So I post to social media for likes and retweets, when I should really be writing slow words for the novel. I hit pause on ideas, saying they can wait until tomorrow. I declare a “brain holiday” on a Tuesday evening just because I can, when really it’s because I’m being lazy. I don’t want to do the hard work now.

Big dreams are hard because they should be.

Your dream shouldn’t be as easy as microwaving ramen. If it weren’t hard, it wouldn’t be worth it. It wouldn’t be a dream.

But what if I word hard and it still sucks?

The first round of work usually does. I love how Ira Glass says it:

“…there’s a gap, that for the first couple years that you’re making stuff, what you’re making isn’t so good, OK? It’s not that great. It’s really not that great. It’s trying to be good, it has ambition to be good, but it’s not quite that good. But your taste — the thing that got you into the game — your taste is still killer, and your taste is good enough that you can tell that what you’re making is kind of a disappointment to you, you know what I mean?”

I’m finding that the more I show up, the better I get. I’d bet money that it’s the same for you and your dream.

So I guess I’m going to quit making excuses like Calvin and go do some hard work. Join me?

You Always Do What You Want To Do

September 9, 2014 by Abbigail Kriebs 5 Comments

When I started to say “no” at the end of this summer in order to rest and regroup, I had this idea in my head that my desired outcome would be instantaneous.

Silly, I know.

I know that there is no easy fix in life, at least when it comes to the big stuff. I know that if you go to the gym on a Tuesday you won’t instantly be thin on a Thursday (darn). I know that eating right doesn’t just happen: you have to plan for it. I know that writing every day, at best, is a vague possibility unless I actively set aside time to do just that.

But I thought that since I wanted it so bad and had been contemplating change so long that it would be easy this time.

Silly, I know.

My bad habits are easy. It is easy for me to reach for quick carbs in the form of crackers or cookies when I haven’t planned ahead. It is easy for me to heat up a can of so-so soup rather than remember to unthaw that chicken a day ahead of time. It’s easy for me to say that I don’t have time to go to the gym when I look at the long list of other “more important” things I need to accomplish that day.

But you know – these habits didn’t form in a day, either. I made choice after choice for month after month to get me to this point, too.

I repeatedly chose distraction over productivity. I chose quick instead of nutritious. And let’s be honest: many times I chose TV over sitting down with pen and paper.

You Always Do What You Want To Do

What’s got me in a reflective state of mind today is yet another weekend spent at the vet.

Last week, our cat Zipper got sick. I spent an (expensive) Saturday morning at the vet, brought home some antibiotics, and thought everything was going to be fine in two weeks. A little inconvenience, but nothing out of the ordinary.

After three more trips to the vet this week, another expensive Saturday morning, and an X-Ray, we discovered that our cat has massive bladder stones that need to be surgically removed ASAP, to the tune of a helluva lot of money. So, after getting the news while Scott was in Michigan for work, I came home on Saturday and kind of zoned out in a little pity party, mad at everything and everyone, including myself.

This was not how my weekend was supposed to go.

This was not how my season of rest what supposed to happen.

This was not helping me make or reinforce good habits.

This wasn’t what I wanted.

So I moped for a while. I made a latte and sat down to watch a movie, The Answer Man. It’s one that Amazon Prime keeps suggesting based on my viewing history, but I keep ignoring it. On Saturday, I was too lazy to search for anything else, so I hit play.

And the movie was just what I needed.

It’s a story about a man, Arlen, who 20 years ago wrote a book with the answers to all of life’s hard questions, and then sequestered himself away and never talked to anyone. In a series of somewhat humorous events, he ends up answering the questions of a young man, Kris, who just got out of rehab, and who is now dealing with an alcoholic father and a business that is going bankrupt. One of their exchanges really hit me right where I was:

Kris: Why can’t I do the things I want to do? There’s so much I know I’m capable of that I never actually do. Why is that?
Arlen: The trick is to realize that you’re always doing what you want to do… always. Nobody’s making you do anything. Once you get that, you see that you’re free and that life is really just a series of choices. Nothing happens to you. You choose.”

Ouch.

Now, I know that I want to eat cookies and not broccoli. I want to sit and read and not go to the gym. I want to feel sorry for myself that this is all happening.

We all have our moments when we are allowed to to do the “wrong” thing: to take a break, to eat pizza instead of chicken.

But when I add all those actions up – all those little wants – they don’t equal my actual goals, the BIG wants: to write a book, to eat healthy, to exercise more.

So I need to change the little wants. I need to make my everyday actions reflect what I actually want to do in life, not what I think I want to do in the moment.

Are you doing what you want to do right now? If not, what is holding you back?

[An update on Zipper: surgery went well and she is back at home, her meds making her overly affectionate and VERY vocal. But I’ll take it.]

A Season of Rest: Action Plan

August 26, 2014 by Abbigail Kriebs 2 Comments

The title seems contradictory, but I did indeed create an action plan for this season of rest.

I want this time to be intentionally restful, and not just restful because of a lack of things to do. In fact, I think I would get bored then, which is not restful. Besides, this resting time is a chance for Scott and I to create some new (better) habits and for me to do some of the things I love doing but always put off because of what Urgently Needs to be Taken Care of Right Now.

Prince Edward Island South Shore Inkwells Images Abbigail Kriebs copy

One of the most restful, recharging weeks we ever spent was on Prince Edward Island, Canada.

I have some goals for this resting period:

I need to cultivate healthy habits: This includes drinking enough water, exercising regularly, and eating well. I also want to be able to check “get enough sleep” and “floss consistently” off my list of Things I Should Be Doing But Don’t Yet.
I need to cultivate healthy spiritual habits: I need to prioritize carving out space for my own quiet time on a daily basis. We have been so caught up in ministry for so many years, that this has been something that has fallen by the wayside far too often when the list gets long with “to-dos.” My own soul needs fed before I can help feed the souls of others.
I need to blog regularly: I know that blogging is not something that can necessarily be done half-heartedly. I need to set aside some time to plan out posts in advance, and then actually execute on those plans. For me, I think this looks like posting a legitimate post on Tuesdays and a book review or photo blog on Thursdays.
I need to write: I have a half-finished novel taking up space on my hard drive, and some meaty concepts for a few others floating around in Evernote. Writing a novel has always been my dream, ever since I made my first bucket list as a 12-year-old before bucket lists were even a thing. Writing a novel is something I need to do for me, or I am always, always going to regret it.
I need to spend more quality time with Scott: We’ve been married for over eight years now and still haven’t figured this one out. We’ve always said “yes” to everyone else first, and then tried to squeeze in time together in the cracks. We usually only realize that we have a free Friday night when Friday night arrives, and then we are too tired to even think about leaving the house again. We are looking to change that, to spend time together dreaming and praying and eating real food intentionally, and not just when it is convenient.

I’m still figuring out what all this looks like and how to balance even these five things with a full-time job and some freelance projects. I’m taking an extra day off for Labor Day this year to help kick off a season of rest well, and I’m planning to use some of that time to create what I hope will be an ideal schedule each work day and each weekend day, knowing that it is “ideal” and not set in stone.

What about you? Have any habit-building tips for me? I’d love to hear what has helped you build and sustain a tough habit for a long period of time.