I started writing a post about personality types and how much they fascinate me, and realized that I had several hundred words just on introversion vs. extroversion. And who can resist a post influenced by the Gilmore Girls? The rest of my thoughts on Meyers-Briggs and Enneagrams will follow next week!
Unless you don’t have access to the internet (which I am guessing is not true since you are reading this), you’ve probably heard the chatter regarding Introversion vs Extroversion going around. The biggest misconception I’ve seen regarding these two modes of operation is that one is “better” or “more substantial” than the other. Neither is true: they are just different ways that we humans interact with our environments in order to be our best us.
The best example I can think of how these opposite personality traits and different, but equal, are the Gilmore Girls (I also happen to be re-watching the first season on Netflix now, so there’s that). Lorelai and Rory are undeniable opposites, yet neither of them is a villain because of their personality type (or any reason, really – unless you count dating Logan as a villainous act, because I do – but that is a whole ‘nother blog topic…).
The girls of the Gilmore name operate on entirely different edges of the introvert-extrovert spectrum.
The Lorelai: Extra Extroverted
Extroverts get their energy from “elsewhere” – things outside of themselves, usually having to do with other people. This could be a party or dinner out with friends or a networking event where you get to meet new people. Extroverts often talk through their issues with someone else in order to make sense of things. Being around others gives extroverts more energy than they had before. This doesn’t mean that they never like alone time, but that is not their primary source of recharging their batteries.
Lorelai is outgoing, constantly moving, and always needs to be doing something. Planning events and interacting with people at the Inn are where she shines. Parties are her thing. She is constantly interrupting Rory’s studies to see if she wants to go out for pizza or go grab some ice cream… anything but sit and stare at her own textbooks.
The Rory: Inarguably Introverted
Introverts are the opposite. They get their energy from interior places, often through time spent alone. This could mean reading a book, taking a quiet walk, fixing a nice meal… anything that allows them to primarily sort through their own thoughts and feelings as opposed to having to spend energy interacting with other people. They need time and quiet to make their decisions, reflecting internally in order to do what feels right.
Rory is always happiest when reading a book, or studying, or doing anything that involves herself and maybe just one or two other very close friends. She excels at school because she is able to focus this way. And is constantly bargaining with her mother to leave her alone so she can get something done.
Is One Better?
Is either way of approaching the world wrong? No. But they each approach the world differently. So do most introverts and extroverts.
I think if we are more aware of how we interact with the world around us, we are better able to live a life that best fits our true self. And we are far more likely to extend grace to someone else when we understand how they operate – especially if it is different from ourselves.
So – are you an introvert, extrovert? What gives you the most energy in your life?
Now go grab some coffee. It’s a must in any situation.
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